This past Saturday, I crossed over a threshold.
I closed the door on my first decade of adulthood, that long hallway of Rooms 20 to 29. Today I stand at the start of a brand-new corridor, officially 30 years (and 4 days) old.
On one hand, my 30th birthday didn’t feel any different from the past few. Like my previous 6 birthdays, I spent the day with my partner, David. We did all the me-centric things I’ve enjoyed for years: Biking, eating delicious food at an alfresco restaurant, buying second-hand books, and spending time my garden.
Yet, for basically all of my 20s, I was told that the big 3-0 would be this major, crisis-inducing milestone.
Some people I know grieved at the end of their 20s. Some people I know haven’t been 20-something for decades but still pine for the lifestyle (and, sadly, the body) that they had in their second decade of life.
I have felt a minute shift over the past few years: A creaky ankle here or a stiff neck there. But I feel just as curious, adaptable, and spry as I did at 20.
I guess this post is to say that I’m surprised.
Culturally, we act like the start of your 30s is the start of your decline. Especially for women, there is this societal pressure to always be perceived as a 20-something. We are told that our value diminishes as our age increases.
But I’m just getting started.
Why I’m Loving 30
This age already feels better than 20 did.
I am surrounded by both chosen family and beloved relatives. I spent the last decade learning to be an adult and building a life that fulfills me. Now I’ve started to reap the rewards of my right choices and the wisdom of my wrong ones.
I credit a lot of my peace to my female friends, many of whom predate me by a decade or more.
One of my closest friends is in her early-to-mid-thirties and just moved abroad, which was a dream of hers for the 10 years I’ve known her. Two of my other friends had their first children around 35, which alleviates some anxieties I had about “biological clocks”. I have another friend who just turned 40 and never hesitates to speak her mind. My oldest female friend is retired and uses her son’s former bedroom as her artist’s studio.
So many women in my life, regardless of their ages, grab life by the antlers and steer it where they want to go.
Highlights From My 20s
No doubt, my 20s were incredible and I lived them to their fullest.
I tried on so many different friendships and relationships and homebases and careers.
I succeeded and failed in equal measure, learning how to persist through both outcomes. I also learned to trust myself and gained confidence in both my brain and my body. I said goodbye to the people who made me feel like shit, and I centered the people who made me feel great. I was open to newness, but gained the self-awareness to know when to pivot onto a different path.
Learning who I am and what I value most, those were the two greatest gifts of my 20s.
An End Is Just A New Beginning
My first decade of adulthood was amazing. But I never felt like my life was winding down with each passing year. Each year genuinely got better than the previous one.
So why would I assume that my evolution, my personal growth, my peace and fulfillment will simply come to an end this year?
Aging feels like a luxury to me, not a worry.
I want to carry that mindset into my next decade. I want to remember that it is a gift to age.
The crow’s feet of my future will be remnants of my laughter from today.
So here’s to the start of my next chapter!
Thank you all for the happy birthday wishes over this past week.
Tune in next Tuesday for a recap of a recent trip to Arizona, where I celebrated my birthday with my family. It was my first (and absolutely not last) time in the American Southwest.
Enjoyed this post? There's a whole lot more waiting for you!
Subscribe to my Substack for travel tips, inspirational essays, ethical travel takes, and real talk about freelancing finances, all delivered straight to your inbox.
No spam. Just stories.